i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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