The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can't just leave with hair like that
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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