Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
