3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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