I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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