He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
