that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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