come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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