i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
