I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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