I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
