you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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