OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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