Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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