We named our party play list daddy issues
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
