i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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