Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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