So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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