Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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