I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
