I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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