it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
