You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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