This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I supernannyed him into submission
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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