i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
