I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
