The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was confusing and full of hummus
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How does one acquire holy water?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
