Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
there is glitter all over my balls
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
