Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
