Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
