Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize