he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
