just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
