I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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