Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
