I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
