Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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