we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Me too!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
