onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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