Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He passed out mid-signature
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
