We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
