Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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