we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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