I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
