Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As shirtless as possible
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize