her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
