Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
