I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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