we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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