So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
