Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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