the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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