can u get pink eye on your cock?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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