I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
