one two three fourrrrnication!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize