I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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