i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
