Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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