So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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