omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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