You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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