Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
