yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
